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The Naija Babe's Diary: TRAFFIC PALAVA (1)

When we heard the bus conductor shout Toll Gate we struggled to get in. Eh! Come and see the young and old showing off strength in the bid to get in. The conductor noticed the frail struggle and nicely asked me to join the fine man at the front seat.

That day, it had been raining cat and dog and I was having the symptoms of malaria, everyone can relate to this right? It was about to rain again and everyone was obviously not ready to get caught up in the dance party between the flush from the sky and the dirt in the earth, a popular atmosphere in Ogun State. As expected the rain came down as we began our journey. I sat quietly enjoying the sounds coming from the hard rain hitting the bus; it was quiet as everyone seemed to mind their business. My bliss was cut short when a track from Pasuma’s album hit the stereo and what seemed like a war began.

 A passenger from behind loudly let out his disdain for the artist while exalting his favourite artist Saheed Osupa. This made others begin to take sides, and then I realized I was going on a trip on a bus filled with touts. Aargh! You see, this was a long journey and all I wanted was to get on a bus and try to sleep to help reduce the banging headache, not this. There were two oppositions in the bus, the bus divided into halves. One part rooted for Saheed Osupa and the others screamed their support for Pasuma. They argued on who was better in the art, I heard people in husky voices using strange slang; it only got worse when the conductor decided to join in the argument. 

Unfortunately, he was a fan of Saheed Osupa which of course irritated his boss the driver. It was surprising as to how loud he aired his opinion well knowing his boss was an aggressive supporter of Pasuma. The driver let out his anger on the wheels and the bad road. My heart kept changing borders to my lungs, liver and spinal cord, it was getting colder in a supposedly warm bus and my head kept growing heavy. I suddenly remembered the fine man beside me and I turned towards him to cajole him to help tell the driver to change the music for peace to reign. Before the thoughts in my head got to my tongue I noticed he had been quiet all the while because of the gin sachet in his mouth. 

He obviously was one who had his choices too, before I could blink my eyes in amazement, he reached towards the driver and gave him a resounding slap. The bus fell silent, the driver abruptly stopped the bus and turned towards his attacker, here I deduced this was not going to get any pretty. Before the driver could say anything I announced my wish to alight, the conductor helped me with the door and I jumped down into the rain. I was still far away from my bus stop but to watch such a scene to the finish would be a death wish Mbok!!!



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